Sorry's Not Enough
by andersex
Summary: Summary: Post-Regionals. Quinn recieves an unexpected visitor in the hospital. He knows what he wants, but can he convince her? Can she re-claim the man she loves? Can they ever learn to trust again? St Berry, Q/J fr-ship, Q/F. Prequel to Brave New World.


Summary: Quinn receives a mysterious visit, from the last person she ever expected to see in her hospital room which leads to mysterious discoveries for everyone involved. Prequel to Brave New World.

Quinn Fabray was completely and totally exhausted. She had watched many home birthing videos and tutorials on YouTube with Mercedes while they had lived together, but none of the videos had prepared her for the real thing. They made it look so easy on TV, that pushing a watermelon sized baby out of something didn't take long.

It took long, it took hours.

She remembered being wheeled into the ER, with her mother, Mercedes and Puck rushing after the orderlies that pushed her chair through the corridors. She remembered the look of fear etched into Puck's face as she started to scream, clenching Mercedes' hand between her own. It had hurt_ so_ badly. If they wanted to teach teenagers how to abstain from sex, they should all be taken to a hospital and forced to watch a teen mom give birth. It's messy, and horrifying.

She was actually somewhat surprised that Puck had remained conscious; he was never very good around blood. She was also slightly surprised that he had left the hospital with the other glee club members to hear the results of the competition. She was completely incapable of fathoming how he'd be able to leave their little girl behind, but when she thought about it, she realized that was the true reason why she couldn't love Noah Puckerman.

He had good intentions, but they just didn't always work out.

She had spent the past hour or so staring into the bassinet that housed her tiny daughter, wondering what the little baby would look like in five months, five years, twenty five years. She wondered if "Beth" would have her hair or any of her features. She wondered if Beth would have Noah's temper or if she would go onto be a cheerleader when she went to high school. She knew that it was shallow and naïve, but for these reasons her heart desperately urged her to keep that baby; in fear that the baby would grow up and become an awesome person and she would miss out on seeing it.

It pained her, but she knew that she had to give Beth up in order to give her the proper future that she deserved.

After a few hours that seemed like lifetimes, the nurses came in to take Beth to the NICU so that all of her fellow glee club members could come in and talk to her. When they entered the room and she saw their down trodden faces, she knew that they had been unsuccessful at regional's, and she couldn't help but feel a little bit empty and upset about the fact that next year at McKinley High there would be no more Glee club, and probably no more friendship. She would never say it out loud, but part of her was wondering what her life would be like without the support of the glee club when they went back to school. Would she go back to the Cheerios? Would she become the old Quinn again?

Did she even _want_ to be the old Quinn again?

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

When Jesse St. James descended from the stage at Regional's, he felt like he should be the happiest guy alive. As a reigning member of Vocal Adrenalin for all of his high school years, Jesse was the only one in the club that had achieved a national title for every year he'd been in the club. They hadn't won nationals yet, but their win at Regional's pretty much confirmed that they would inevitably claim the national title once again. He should be feeling on top of the world right now, like nothing can stop him from achieving all of his dreams.

But he doesn't.

He feels surprisingly empty.

He could see Rachel watching them perform Bohemian Rhapsody from the back of the theatre, his eyes magnetically attracted to hers. It had almost caused him to stumble, and he had accidentally grabbed the wrong dancer during the number. Thankfully Vocal Adrenaline was ready for anything and they were able to change the routine in a split second so that no one would notice, but the girls were not very impressed with him. He was also unimpressed with himself. The great Jesse St. James, star of vocal adrenalin, never let anything get to him…especially not a girl. So why had he practically ruined their routine, all because she looked into his eyes?

It was because he loved her…

And she would never speak to him ever again.

He had known, at the exact second the egg had left his hand and cracked onto her forehead, that what they had would never be able to be fixed. She would never forgive him for it, that was just who she was. Rachel Berry was a star in the making, she made her dreams come true, and a star like her would never settle for someone who was so concerned for his own fame that he couldn't even make decisions for himself. He knew that she had seen the look on his face when Andrea, the stupid bitch, told him to do it. He hadn't done it of his own free will; he had let them convince him to do it.

He knew Rachel could never respect someone like that. Someone like him.

…and because of that, he felt somewhat lost.

His entire team was celebrating back stage but all he could do was look over towards the members of New Directions, who were clustered together in a corner looking devastated. When he had been attending McKinley he had heard them talking about a deal with the principal, and he knew what this competition had meant to them. To him, winning was just a perfect record before he moved on and really started his career. Yet to them, winning was essential because without it everything they had worked for was all for naught, their glee club would be disbanded.

And that was pretty much his entire fault.

When he had been with their club, they were poised to topple VA at Regional's. They would have been unstoppable, but he had left them high and dry because of his own selfish behavior and his fear.

He was afraid of letting himself trust people.

He was afraid of letting himself fall in love.

He was afraid, for the first time in years…and that was why he had to leave.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

Rachel knew that watching Jesse perform with his team was going to do nothing but break her heart, but she found herself unable to look away. Their rendition of Queen's _Bohemian Rhapsody_ was bordering on epic, solely because of Jesse. She understood why Shelby had decided to have Jesse sing the bulk of the vocals, because during his time at McKinley he had learned an amount of vocal emotional depth that no one on his team could comprehend.

They had helped him do that, and it had been used against them.

She knew that without Jesse they would have never been able to pull off a Queen number as superbly as they did, as the vocals would never be emotional enough to win them the crowd. It made her hate him as fury boiled through her, but underneath the anger was an emotion that she refused to identify with. She refused to even attempt to understand his motives, refused to accept that he could have loved her underneath everything. She refused to meet his eyes when he saw her backstage, pleading with his eyes for her to give him any indication that what they had could be salvaged. She looked him in the eye and walked away slowly, not seeing the look of heartbreak etched on his face as he broke away from his team mates and raced out the door.

She didn't know that he hurt as much as she did, and she didn't that he was trying to think of a way to win her back. All she knew was that her heart hurt, and she needed to get out of there soon before she dissolved into a puddle of tears on the floor. She was saved from what could have been a humiliating and embarrassing experience as Noah tapped her on the shoulder and said that they were all going over to the hospital.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

"Ms. Fabray, you have a visitor that wasn't on your approved list. Is it okay to let them in?" Quinn sighed and nodded in agreement, assuming that it was probably Shelby. She was hesitant to let the coach of their rival team adopt her daughter but after hearing the entire story she knew that it was probably the right move to make. Shelby knew what it was like to give up a daughter and have to see her all grown up, knowing that you did nothing to help her become the woman she became. She told Quinn that she wanted a real life, that she wanted stability, and that she was willing to give up everything in order to get it. She had resigned as the coach for Vocal Adrenalin as of that morning, and she told Quinn everything about Rachel and how she wanted a second chance to be a real mother.

Quinn understood Shelby's motives, but she still wasn't 100% sure if it was the best thing for her.

"Hi."

Quinn looked up into the blue eyes of the one person she'd never expected to see in her hospital room, and furrowed her brow.

"What are you doing here, Jesse St. Douche?" Both of them turned to look at Puck, who was leaning in the doorway staring at the enemy amongst them. Jesse opened his mouth to defend himself but Quinn beat him to it.

"Puck, can you go check on the baby?" He looked to reluctant to leave but she gave him a pleading look and he sighed, reluctantly heading towards the nursery. Jesse looked like he was going to thank her but she waved him off, leaning back against the pillows. Giving birth had taken a lot out of her, and she wasn't sure exactly what it was that Jesse was doing there.

"I need to ask you a question. Although I don't know how appropriate it is, giving the current situation." She raised an eyebrow, motioning for him to continue, and he pulled out the chair next to the bed and sat down in it.

"You loved Finn, if I've heard correctly. You lied to him about the baby to protect him, so that he wouldn't get hurt. Do you think he'll ever forgive you?"

"I don't know who you think you—" She shouted, furious that he would dare bring that up. He hadn't even been around when all of that stuff was going down; he had no right to talk to her about it like he knew what had happened.

"It's Rachel." He said quickly, not wanting the wrath of Quinn to fall upon him. "I told her some lies, that were horrible and really hurt her, but I was trying to protect her. Do you think she'll forgive me?" He knew that this was a long shot, but he had no idea where to go from her. She was his last hope. He also secretly hoped that if there was a chance that Finn could forgive Quinn that he'd stop going after Rachel and Jesse would have a better chance of winning her back.

"Rachel and I aren't even friends. Why would you come to me?" She asked curiously.

"I figured one woman scorned could empathize with another one. If anyone knew pain like Rachel experienced it, I figured it would be you."

"I see." She sighed, not having the energy to put up a fight. "Rachel, from what I've noticed, has a lot of pride. People have done a lot of horrible things to her but she's still happy and whatever. She's different now though, since you left. She doesn't wear those hideous animal sweaters, thank god, but she wears jeans. The jeans were unsettling, and don't get me started on the yoga pants. We were all there when Kurt and Mercedes helped her spend two hours in the bathroom getting the egg yolks out of her hair, and when she heard that you were actually sent over here by her birth mom. Shelby told her everything and I think she was hurt for the most part because you never told her."

Jesse nodded empathetically. He knew that he had made a big mistake what his feelings for Rachel had made him panic. He hadn't expected to actually fall in love with her and when he did, he'd automatically panicked and had fled. He had fled back to the one place she could never find him, in the arms of the enemy.

"She might not forgive you today, but I think in the future she might." Quinn said softly, wondering if the same could be said for Finn. Jesse nodded and thanked her before leaving the room, and a very confused and conflicted Quinn behind.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

Rachel Berry had been avoiding Jesse St. James for over a week now, but she knew that it wouldn't be able to go on for much longer. Every time his name popped up on her phone she wanted to answer it, tell him how much she missed him, and welcome him back with open arms. She could remember the last time he'd been in her bedroom, right after they shot his part in the Run Joey Run video, and the memory brought tears to her eyes.

"_God Rachel, I forgot how staggering our palpable chemistry is." Jesse had said excitedly, still on a high from the recording of what was to be the most epic project in the history of McKinley High School. With his charisma and Rachel's enthusiasm, it was destined to be an classic spectacle. He kissed her on the lips before moving to her neck, kissing it up and down. There was nothing like the high of a performance to get him in the mood and he could tell that she felt the same way from the vigor she was demonstrating._

_Unlike most of the times they made out, she was trying to be the more dominant force. She rolled them over and pushed him onto his back, kissing down his neck and running her fingers through his hair. She pressed her body up against his and he groaned, trying to control himself. He knew that she wasn't ready to go all the way, but his growing erection's reaction to her body was trying to convince him otherwise._

_She looked into his eyes and shyly bit her lip before grasping the bottom of her shirt, slowly pulling it up and off over her head, throwing it to the ground. She moved to grab his shirt but he stopped her, holding her hands in his own._

"_What are you doing, Rachel?"_

"_I-I think that I'm ready. I know that I'm ready. I want you to be my first." She leaned down and kissed him again. Things escalated quickly from there and soon they were both naked, staring into each other's eyes. Jesse leaned in to kiss her and moved from her lips, to her neck, and then to her nipple, taking it in his mouth. He sucked on the nipple lightly while teasing the other with his thumb as she moaned in pleasure. He knew that tonight would not be one for foreplay, so he quickly positioned himself over her._

"_Are you…?" He wanted to make sure that she was protected, and she nodded, giving him the go ahead to slowly lower his length inside of her. He winced as she hissed in pain at the sudden fullness, but after a few moments she was used to it and was enjoying the sensations._

_She enjoyed the sensations all night long._

She couldn't believe that only a few weeks ago they'd been making love in her bed, and now they were completely on the outs. She knew that it wasn't all her fault, he had made mistakes too. She loved him with all her heart but she just couldn't let him back in, to give him another opportunity to break it. She didn't think she'd be able to handle it; the thought of it alone made her feel queasy and sick. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to fight away the nausea. It seemed like anytime she thought about Jesse she had to fight the urge to be sick, it made her heart hurt so badly.

She knew that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, but she was unsure as to whether or not she'd ever be able to trust him again.


End file.
